Always have, always will
by miracle-dreamer1234
Summary: a phone call between Chuck and Blair, set in season 5 - during/at the end of Dan and Blair. Please review. not sure if i should extend, review and let me know if you think i should..
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl – obviously**

**This is set maybe just before 5X24 it popped into my head in the middle of the night and I immediately had to write it, this is my first fan fiction, ever, so go easy on me CHAIR for ENDGAME. Reviews are absolutely welcome - ha this is rather exciting. p.s. this is meant to be a one-shot but if you want me to continue let me know and will think about it. **

She picked up the phone… she couldn't help it; she missed him. Quickly closing her eyes she held her breath as she pressed number 1 on the keypad, wondering once again why she hadn't changed her speed dial over the last 3 months.

Her stomach was in knots, worried that he wouldn't pick up, worried that she had hurt him too much to even get a hello. After what felt like hours she heard the distinct click that told her someone had picked up the phone.

"Blair…" she froze, her breath hitched and she wondered how, after so long he still had this indescribable pull over her, a pull that was so strong that the mere sound of his voice made her heart race and her pulse spike.

"…" she didn't know what to say, she had called him on a whim hoping – more like praying – that it would go to voicemail, all though terrified at the thought of that happening.

"Blair, are you there?" he sounded weird, as if he was chocking on his words she knew she had to speak, after all she was the one who had called _him_ for g-d sake!

"I don't know why I called, I just…. I don't know it's been a while time and well I miss you. I know I shouldn't, and I know I can't but I can't help it, you were this huge part of my life, you were, well you were my everything and now I feel lost. I feel empty. Chuck tell me what to do. Please, I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Why?"

"Why what?" she began shaking, nervous and not expecting that reply, she knew that he had every right to be annoyed with her, but she didn't expect such a crude simple reply.

"Why do you miss me?"

"I just explained why, I miss you because you were such an integral part of my life!"

"Is that the only reason?"

Blair deflated, she hadn't expected this, funny how she thought she knew him so well and yet sometimes he did things or said things that completely took her by surprise.

"No… I mean yes!"

"Blair…"

She had almost forgotten how he could put so much meaning in one word, sometime there could be anger, or pain and other times lust, desire and love.

This time there seemed to be confusion, tiredness and a flicker of hope.

"I miss the way you look at me when I wake up in the morning, I miss the sound your voice telling me you love me, I miss the feel of your body next to mine as we lie in your bed after we have made love, I miss making love to you! I miss your butterfly kisses on my neck, I miss your dark eyes that tell me every time I look into them how much you adore me, I miss being adored so completely that it consumes me! And most of all I just miss us, I miss being with you, seeing you and I don't want to miss it anymore I want it all back…"

After a shaky breath she carried on, she couldn't stop the words pouring from her mouth and for the first time in a long time she didn't want to hold back anymore

"But Chuck I am scared, so scared, but I don't want to be anymore, I'm tired of running, I have tried killing it, distracting myself from it and convincing myself that I am over it, but I cant and I wont anymore, I love you Chuck Bass, I am in love with you; and this time I am all in"

She stopped talking and all though she hadn't heard his reply she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, for the first time in months she felt like she could finally breathe.

"…"

"Chuck please, please say something"

"I don't know what to say Blair, you've hurt me, and they say it's a broken heart but I hurt all over"

Blair was stunned she knew she had hurt Chuck, but she didn't realise how badly, she remembered saying the same thing to Serena last year, she never wanted him to hurt as much as she had – all though she would never have told him that at the time - and now she didn't know how to make him feel better, how to make him feel more secure, but she knew that she had to try.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry for all the hurt I have caused you, after everything with Louis and now Dan, but I can't take it back but I swear to you if I could I would. I regret everything that has happened this year, I regret every moment that we have spent apart."

Blair sat down on her bed, she had never felt so exposed, never so vulnerable she had declared her love to a man who had previously broken her heart countless times, yet he was also a man who had made her irreversibly happy, a man who had loved her for her worse, darkest and most evil parts. She prayed that, that love was still there.

"I miss you to Blair…"

"… and I love you. Always have, always will"

Her heart skipped a beat.


	2. Chapter 2

She woke up smiling, experiencing the moment where one – for just a few moments – can not remember the events from the day before, however the events of the night before washed over her and she began to beam. Then the smell hit her, that soft musky smell of scotch, tobacco and aftershave. She slowly took off her gold silky mask, worried that she was imagining the smell, and looked up. He was leaning against her door in a blue striped shirt with a grey bow tie and a grey suit; he had a big smile on his face, something she hadn't seen for a long time.

"Morning Waldorf…" his voice washed over her, warming her insides and making her face flush.

"… After your little outburst last night, I felt like I had to come and see you"

"I'm pleased you did, how long were you standing in my doorway for?"

"Long enough to hear you moan my name in your sleep"

Blair blushed as she tried to remember what she had been previously dreaming about.

"Your lying" she spat out while throwing her pillow at his head. He quickly dodged the pillow and strode towards her bed, bent down and whispered into her ear;

"Yes but I cant wait to hear you scream my name… over and over"

She looked up, straight into his slanted amber eyes, that told her exactly how much he wanted, needed and even loved her, she tentatively stroked his face and pulled him slowly towards her, fusing their lips into a hungry, wanton kiss that was soft and hot and told them both how much they both wanted one another; they both had their eyes open not wanting to miss any part of their long overdue reunion, not wanting to miss each others reactions but more importantly they wanted to savour every moment, worried that eventually it would have to come to an end, it seemed to both that it eventually always had to come to an end.

Chuck pulled away, holding Blair's hand and put her on top of his lap as he laid against the head board of her gold bed.

"You know you've kind of ruined by bed for me"

Chuck looked down at her, interested yet a bit concerned with where the conversation seemed to be going.

"How so?"

"Well I cant lie in it without thinking of you, I definitely cant sleep in it with anyone but you as I always end up comparing them to you… actually I have that problem wherever I am and whoever I'm with… so you have basically ruined me"

"I don't like thinking about you with other people, I'm pleased your bed reminds you of me, I cant listen to heels on marble without thinking of you, I cant see brunettes without thinking of you and don't even get me started on Chanel No.5! I also cant be with anyone else, period… so Waldorf I guess you've ruined me to, your in in my every thought, and my every dream, you consume me…"

he stopped to take a breath, but looked like the weight of the world was falling off his shoulders, he looked relieved.

"… When your not with me, it literally destroys me, I hate seeing you with other people – please promise me you wont put me threw what you have put me threw over the last year; I know that I ruined you in 2011, but I swear to you it wont ever happen again… but please, please don't hurt me again… I don't think I could take it."

Blair was stunned, she had never heard chuck be so open when it came to his feelings, she was so used to him being bottled up and detached with his emotions, in fact this was the most she had heard him say in a long time. But more importantly when she looked up at him she saw the pain in his eyes, she saw the heartbreak and the grief, her own heart broke at the site of it… yet it also swelled, and she began falling in love with even more – something that she previously thought would be impossible. Blair felt guilty, and swore to herself that she would never again put him through what she had put him through over the last 12 months.

"I hated being away from you, every day I woke up and told my self that I was doing the right thing, when I was with Louis I stayed with him due to the baby and the fact that I didn't want you to die or be hurt because of me; when I was Dan it was because I knew he couldn't hurt me, how could he when I knew I could never love him, let a lone be truly attracted to him – gawd Chuck he was kind of awful – I don't know how Serena did it, I had to get drunk in order to sleep with him, and one time… urmm I may have moaned your name"

Chucks eyebrows shot up, all though he hated thinking of Blair with anyone else, he quite liked that she couldn't be with anyone else without thinking and comparing them to him.

"Did cabbage patch say anything to that little slip up?"

"No he pretended not to hear it, all though I don't see how he could do that! I kind of hoped he would have said something, It would have given me my way out"

Chuck looked up, hurt by her words and thoughts.

"Why didn't you just end it Blair, you knew how much I missed and loved you!?"

"Because… I was scared, scared to be hurt by you again and scared that if i did get back together with you, and it didn't work out then that would be it… we would be over, forever…"

"… I don't want that Chuck, ever, I couldn't stand a world where you and I are completely over, not having you in my life is my idea of hell, the very thought of it makes me feel sick"

Chuck looked up at Blair, with an expression in his eyes that told her he meant every word he had said and was about to say.

"Blair that will never happen, ever, I hated not being with you this year, I've never been in so much pain, it was more painful than losing my father, the thought of losing the empire and being conned by Elizabeth; I swear to you, we wont lose each other ever again, this is it for me"

Blair beamed, relieved to hear him settle her fears and doubts, all though she was sad to reminded of his loss and pain over the years.

"But how can you be so sure, how do you know what's going to happen in a month, year or even years from now! Anything could get in our way or break up apart, just look at our history!"

Chuck looked at her again, put his hands on her face and just breathed in.

"Marry me Blair, its all I've ever wanted, I've never wanted anything more, when I think of my future your all I see, if we marry nothing can ever tear us apart, you'll be mine – and you know I'm already yours. I want to have children with you; I want to grow old with you, Blair Cornelia Waldorf, so please do me the honour of being my wife?"

Blair was stunned, his proposal was simple yet spectacular, and she had never felt so happy in her life.

"Yes, always – I couldn't think of anything I'd want more…"

"… I love you Chuck Bass, always have, and always will"

He smiled his cute toothy smile, and Blair couldn't help but beam back.

"I love you to Blair, always have and I always will – I promise"

They slowly kissed, and neither – when asked later – could remember who initiated it, all they knew was, was this was where they were supposed to be, this was home, and it always would be. Chuck and Blair would finally be together forever.


End file.
